Yesterday morning I woke up at 6:50am to get to the gym by 7:30. It felt really early, as it usually does on a Monday, but I drug my tired rear end out of bed and, in a semi-comatose state, got ready to go.
I remember seeing my cell phone on my nightstand thinking, “I need to get that.” Then as I left the house I remember thinking, “oh, I forgot to grab my phone. I must have left it on the nightstand. Oh well.” Then as I was getting ready for work at the gym, I realized I had also forgotten my belt and my work badge.
It was one of those Mondays.
When I got home after work, I went to get my phone from the nightstand and to my great astonishment (I couldn’t just use the word “surprise” there), there was no phone! I was frantic. I looked everywhere – in old laundry on my server cabinet, under the couch… everywhere. But I was sure, absolutely sure, that the last place I saw it was on the nightstand.
After probably 20 minutes… no, 20 hours… of looking I had to face the simple fact: my phone was misplaced. Then it went from misplaced to missing. Then as despair grew, it went to “gone.” Then quickly to long gone. Then to completely, utterly, and thoroughly lost.
As I crumbled to the floor in a puddle of my own sweat, tears and agony (what does a puddle of agony look like anyway?), I contemplated the meaning of life and wondered, “When will all things be known?!? How are so many socks orphaned by the mean dark dryers?!? And above all, where is my cell phone??!?” That night, I went to bed in a state of denial, sadness, and anger.
Then this morning, I spent another 20 minutes looking. I even updated my facebook status to reflect my deepest sorrows.
Then: a miracle. I found my phone. You wanna know where???
In my gym bag.
Moral of the story: If you get ready for the gym in a semi-comatose state, you will lose your cell phone.