This is article #2 in the series, “Celebrating Singleness”
In one of my comments in part one, I astounded myself by wondering out loud a question that crosses some singles’ minds every once in a while, but which I have never heard expressed out loud…
“What if it never works out for me?”
This question sparked in me a great moment of introspection which burst forth into a brilliant epiphanal conclusion: boys and girls are different. At least, I think the way they handle this question is drastically different.
In our society, as far as initiating relationships are concerned, the men still have most of the power. Most men who don’t date, don’t because they don’t want to. Most women, on the other hand, who don’t date either lack opportunities to date or are too choosy about who they date. Yes, there are oodles of exceptions out there, but that is still basically how our social system works.
This makes the big “elephant in the room” question much harder for a woman, because she might feel as though she’s ready, or wants something to happen, but feels powerless to actually make it happen (which may or may not be true).
But I will also make an argument on behalf of my gender, that we also feel the same weight of this question, but differently. What if I passed someone up I shouldn’t have? What if I passed my prime? What if I never find someone I feel compatible with? Is this a person I can love for the rest of my life (and into eternity, where applicable)? Can I really never look at another woman again?
I think the only remedy for these despair filled thoughts is to cast them out of our minds and focusing on just living our lives. Living in the present and projecting ourselves into the future is the only way to keep such thoughts from totally paralyzing you. (If I sound like a broken record, it’s because I’ve blogged about this before, too… There’s Only What You Do)
If you think about it, this was the main theme for part 1 as well… Just live your life, and the single thing will all work out.
My friend Lee once passed on the best advice he had ever heard on being single and finding a marriage (paraphrasing):
Do you believe the Lord knows you? Yes.
Do you believe He loves you? Yes.
Do you think He knows what’s best for you? Yes.
Do you think He can put the right person in your life at the right time for you? Of course.
Well, then relax, cause when it happens, it happens. You just have to get ready for it.